Doushite?

I haven’t asked this question from you personally, but I would like to ask you now. Why? I cannot help, but ask you why? Ever since I wove what happened between September 19 to October 30, I couldn’t help myself but ask you WHY? You couldn’t wait or you were not just sincere? I cannot move on, yet. I guess so. Because you didn’t even say a word about this. I had entrusted 1/3 of my life to you, but WHY? Without further ado, you decided it yourself. You never mentioned that you were leaving. You also didn’t mention you were asking somebody else. Please realize that you have left a bitter taste in my life. I was very honest to tell you that I want time to decide, now time has indeed decided that we are definitely not meant for each other.

Why now? Now that I have slowly opened my heart for you. Now that I am trying to accept being with you for the rest of my life. Oh, how my heart cringe for explanations, how you crushed it with sudden realization, I could feel the brokenness. I believed in your words, yet you deceived me. I tried to accept you, yet when I finally am ready to accept you, you let me go.

Oh, what a god-forsaken truth. Let me wash you over with tears, yet I cannot cry. I feel remorse, yet all I do is stare at nothingness. Doushite? Atashi mo, aishiteru desuyo. Atashi suki desu yo. Doushite? Why did it end here?