Love Actually -- In Memoriam

It's almost September. Well, for sure everyone knows that Philippines celebrate Christmas as early as September. I don't explicitly like Christmas since it's the time when I spend the most. I don't want it in haste since I am not yet ready financially with the cost I will be expecting to have, but I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about something else.

Tonight, I watched the movie, Love Actually. Everyone, I guess, saw this movie. In my case, I have seen this 3 or 4 times already. I have always done the same reaction, felt the same feeling, and did the same thing every time I'm watching it. I felt like Christmas is all around us (quoting Billy Mack's song). Thinking about our past love ones, future love ones, and present love ones -- life can be so enigmatic as it may seem. We may feel one great love today, but tomorrow it can be a different feeling -- this may be hatred, sadness, or anger. How strange it is to feel anger after falling in love and giving your life mostly to that one person you "truly" love. Seeing someone so in love for five years and being broken barely a month is something extraordinary. We never know when the time we fall out of love. We never know the time when we become stupid of falling in love. We just know that one day while walking on the road, we'll stomp by a huge rock, lo~ there is love.

How great it is to be in love. It's like chocolate sprinkled with nuts and tiny mallows and colored candy icing. It's feeling the heat in Arabia, filled with sweet perfumes out of different flowers hand picked by a heavenly maiden. Every day, we feel like floating in the air. We forget all of your problems, we forget all of your worries.

However, love can also make our heart tear apart. It can pull your strings in different directions, then we became less powerful. It makes us feel weak, deprived, lost, out of shape, sorrowful, and lame. The time when we feel heart broken is the time when we feel like losing ourself. We became vulnerable to sickness, until we die. It's like an acute myocardial infarction has succumbed our teeny weeny heart and we collapse.

Yes, love is enigmatic, it's all around us. All we have to do is to become brave enough to succumb it. Feel it. Embrace it. Let it be your life.

side burns...

I want to have another boyfriend again. Not that I am ready to have one, but I am longing to have one. I hope to have someone to lean on when I feel tired and need comfort. I want to feel the nearness of a strong shoulder and chest. I want to smell the scent of a man!

It may sound weird, but I felt this way. Strange it may seem, but it just came across my mind. I'm happy being single, yet I just want to feel like a woman again. To have someone I can talk to, to share the future with, to cry or laugh with, to feel jealousy, betrayal from a lover, and most of all~ love. I may be full of love from my family and friends, but I am longing for something more. More like a love from the person I'd be living with for the rest of my life.

I want to feel cared of. I have been caring for other all these years, I want someone to take care of me too.

There has been someone that I treasure and like all this time. I think I am willing to give it a try with him. I think I want him to be my boyfriend. It's just that, he's quite far from me now. He's working overseas and it's difficult for us to meet everyday. It's like I am Elizabeth Swan, waiting for my Flying Dutchman to disembark after 10 years in the sea, only to be with for 24 hours. It's quite difficult, but it's the only way we'd be able to live the life we long to have.

...til then!